The Static Page

Nailing plates to a table.

The two things that should strike you when you read that title is "Er... why?" and "That's nearly as hard as nailing jelly to a tree." Quite.

An inevitable outcome of technology becoming accessible is that people want to use it for things it wasn't quite designed for. Case in point: Like many many churches, the church I attend uses a humble overhead projector to display song words on a screen for the congregation to sing to. It's very low-tech, but it works and you could probably train a monkey to do it - no offense to any overhead projectionists here.

However. This church happens to own a school and uses for worship an auditorium intended for media studies and presentations. To this end, there is an elderly video projector hanging in a lighting grid. It is so old that it takes PAL composite video only. (It also needs a service but that's by-the-by.)

Using a computer to show the song words with it is, of course, an attractive idea. And here's where it gets a little sticky. Because of it's age, a converter had to be purchased which converts VGA to composite video. Add a computer to the mix, and PowerPoint files, and it is very quickly a whole lot more complex than simple sheets of acetate and an overhead projector. When I mention that the church has now bought a newer, brighter video projector, the whole project is probably starting to look quite worthwhile. Most of the time. When something doesn't play up. (It was a fairly cheap projector.)

The trouble with nailing plates to a table is that the act of nailing tend to shatter the plates. I don't know how he did it, but Vyvyan of "The Young Ones" managed to do it one episode. Neil probably would have been more impressed if Vyvyan hadn't also nailed his legs to the table at the same time. He was not amused, to say the least, but there is more than a passing resemblance to the songs on PowerPoint at church. Neil had been nailing the plates down to stop them disappearing, possibly solving the wrong problem. I haven't really mentioned the problems we're having, but the two people who have the most to do - apart from myself - are two of our pastors. They are not video engineers or computer experts, but if they don't then it won't happen. I am already heavily involved in the music, which paradoxically makes me a good operator (I've typed up most of the songs)! Our poor pastors are having to learn literally from making mistakes. Mistakes I have to let happen because they aren't learning any other way. It is painful.

I wonder how long they will try to nail plates to the table until they get it the way they want it.

Wade Bowmer, aka Static

Comments? Email me at static dash page at yceran dot org.