The Static Page

But me no buts.

I had a column about half done for this week when a rather better idea came along. And in an odd sort of way, it was more relevant. It was discussed recently in another forum here at IWETHEY about how the English language seems to have a lot of ways of telling someone off. Your common insult tends to the personal and is often spun off without a lot of thought. And a lot of the time, the person offended will not distinguish between doer and deed (they often don't know how to). Camararderie gets tangled up in there, too. Insults are then often traded between friends, normally without rancour, but sometimes one can really hit home and suddenly we have a communication problem.

On the flip side, compliments and encouragement do not come naturally to most people I know. I guess we treat the giving of such things as an investment. It is intended for personal gain, sooner or later. Such attitudes - consciously or unconsciously - are very self-centred. It makes it hard to trust someone else and on the whole, foments loneliness.

This put me in mind of how what passes for Western culture raises us. Most people in it do not really know how to react to praise, especially unqualified and unexpected praise. They expect the other person to be seeking something. We are not used to building someone else's self-esteem for no reason at all. It feels strange to receive accolades merely because the other person can give them.

But why am I talking about this in a supposedly IT-oriented community?

Respect and praise are hard-won currencies in western culture, and that includes IT. People in positions of power and influence usually attribute their status to hard work. In other words, it is something which they feel they've earnt. Likewise, if someone feels you haven't earnt it, they're usually mighty quick to tell you! In a situation where relative status is a bit murky - which could passably describe most IT environments - we often have to practice an unusual amount of tact. Especially when we would rather be frank and "tell it like it is".

It may be hard to pin down how this historically came about, but I find it highly intruiging that as far as I know the Japanese went the other way entirely. For instance, their very language lets you express politeness and praise merely by how you conjugate words! I wonder if this attitude is not something which would be worthwhile learning from our north-east Asian cousins.

Food for thought?

Wade Bowmer, aka Static

Comments? Email me at static dash page at yceran dot org.